An unusual view of adoption to help create awareness

We wanted to show you this, because it raises awareness about adoption from a less-typical perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments below! Do you have an adoption story? If you do, send it our way. Email us at uglyducklingsinc@gmail.com

I always find that there is a side of adoption that doesn’t seem to get talked about quite as much as the rest. Adopted children are often asked to share their stories. Their adoptive parents are also generally given an open forum for talking about their motivations for adopting. But I always find the birth family isn’t often acknowledged, specifically in the media and our culture.

If and when a birth mother is given a significant story line in either fiction or non-fiction, it usually is talking about the circumstances that caused her to give-up her babies or young children, or what caused her babies or young children to be taken from her.

I love adoption.  I think it is an amazing and beautiful thing. 

And I truly believe that without adoption, I wouldn’t be alive.

She found us

I wasn’t adopted, but my mom had a baby when she was fifteen years old and gave her up for adoption. The statistics of couples that stay together while raising an infant born during their adolescence definitely point to me not being here if my mother hadn’t made that choice.

I didn’t know my mother and father had had this baby when I was younger.  I didn’t know about the baby until she, as an adult, searched for her birth parents and found them together with two young children. I was eleven.

To say my life changed would be an understatement… but every single change was for the better. My sister is an incredibly strong and smart individual and we are very close. She is definitely my hero and I am so proud to have her as a sister.

It’s been so long now, we are just sisters; we were pretty much just sisters from the start. She is as much a part of our family as I am, and she is a part of me.

It’s also been so long now that we don’t have to tell the story that we didn’t always know each other to everyone we meet. The people who have been in our lives from the time we met already know… and the new people in our lives only know who we are now and what our relationship is now.

Occasionally, the story comes up in conversation and we do tell people who have never known us in any other context. The reactions range anywhere from endearing…

– “That is so sweet.  It is so nice to see you two having such a marvellous relationship now.”

… to hurtful

– “Oh… so she’s not your real sister?”

And there is the occasional disbelief, but probably not in the sense you’re thinking:

– “Pft, whatever. Adopted. Yeah right. By a family that looks exactly like you.”

It’s true.  We do look alike.  I have a photo of my mother, my sister and I at the same age, side-by-side… there’s no doubt we’re all related.

When people accuse her of not being my “real” sister… that’s the one that gets to me the most.  She is my sister.  Not only is she 100% biologically my sister… she is my sister in every other sense of the word.  I’ve had her in my life for more years now than not. We are close friends. We talk every day. She constantly inspires me and helps me. I don’t know how I would have gotten through high school without her.

She is my sister.  She is a part of me.

And yeah… I’m the bio family. I’m the family that’s not often talked about when the discussion of adoption comes up – certainly not biological siblings. But we do exist. Whether we’re 100% blood siblings or half siblings, we are “real” siblings and we are affected by the adoption too.

Kelsey’s Ugly Duckling Story

It’s Autism Awareness Day, and we felt it was perfect to share again what Kelsey wrote to us last year. She got a Swan badge and her story is part of our Pinterest board. You can leave a message to Kelsey at the end of the post!

I’m a little nervous. I’m Kelsey I’m 19, almost 20, and I have Asperger’s Syndrome.

Poem written by Kelsey

It is my strength, and weakness. Because of my autism, I am compassionate, hard working (I have two jobs: one at an amusement park, and one at the Disney Store), and probably one of the nicest people you will ever meet.

On the other hand, I struggle with making friends. I have only one friend and she’s awesome, and things that seem easy to you are hard to me, like reading books. I can read fine, but I sometimes don’t understand what I’m reading.

I graduated almost two years ago, and it was hard for me. Then, a miracle happened: a promo for once upon a time came on.

I am a die-hard Evil Regal. Regina, and I are exactly alike. She wants to be herself, to be accepted, and loved, but people don’t give her a chance. If they really got to know her they would see a kind soul that is broken, and needs help with picking up the pieces.

Poem about autism. By Kelsey

Lana Parrilla is my hero. I even wrote to the granted wish foundation (a charity that grants wishes to people with disabilities) saying I want to meet my hero, and tell her thank you for being an inspiration to someone like me. I want to say how much I love her, her show, and character, and maybe a picture would be nice!

The show Once Upon a Time is my safe haven, I never miss it. To quote Mr. Gold, the show made me realize I’m a hero. I see the beauty in others, and I am kind to others and when there’s no one there I create it, so when I look in the mirror I’ll remember, that’s who I am.

Sometimes I want friends, sometimes I don’t. I don’t want all the fame, but I want someone to talk to. I want someone to accept and love me for who I am, so I don’t have to put my shield up.

It took a lot for me to write this. I’m glad you guys started a site like this. Once Upon a Time is magical, and the savior does save people.

– Kelsey

A Woman Who Inspires Jenn

We’re almost finishing our blog series for Women’s History Month, and today we are publishing this piece by Jenn. Today we posted a #Ducklinspiration that said: Life is Breathtakingly Beautiful. Jenn is going to show us here why this is true.

 

Anyone who has read my story submitted to the Ugly Ducklings knows a little bit more about my life than the average Joe around me day to day. And if you find yourself wondering what this has to do with inspiration, then let me just get right to it. February 12th, 2008 I lost my little sister to suicide. February 12th, 2008 I was left to deal with the repercussions of her actions. In fact, everyone who knew Nicole was left behind to deal with the decision she had made. The only person who wasn’t… was her.

A lot of people are quick to say that suicide is an extremely selfish act and in so many ways it is. But from the point of view of someone who has dealt with the aftermath, I am here to say that everyone is welcome to their opinions. But, unless you’ve been there… unless you’ve lost someone close to you because of suicide, please try not to judge the ones who have tried and succeeded in taking their own lives. And more importantly, please try not to judge those who are left behind and the way they choose to deal with it. Once again, you’re probably thinking “This is depressing as hell! How is this supposed to be inspirational?” I promise I’m going to get there.

When I first lost my sister, I grieved just like anyone else. I cried. I panicked. I denied. And then I barely got out of bed for two weeks. After that, I began to have a lot of anxiety. And then, I got angry. I was forced to go back to work and deal with people who had no clue who I truly was. Who knew nothing about me whatsoever, aside from the fact that we worked together. But so many were quick to offer their condolences and just as many were completely clueless as to what to say or whether or not they should say anything at all! I was fine with that. I just wanted to be left alone. Finally, one day someone asked me about her. Someone had the guts to ask me what had happened and they wanted details.

To a random person, this may seem rude. Or in fact, in may just seem as if someone was just being nosey. But I wasn’t offended in the least. I thought to myself “Finally! Someone wants to *talk* about her! Someone wants to know about Nicole and they’re genuinely concerned about why she took her own life.” So I started talking. And once I did, I found that I couldn’t seem to shut myself up! And I thought, you know, I even feel as if a weight was being lifted off of my chest. I didn’t have to carry around that burden of being one of the only few who truly knew what had happened and what had led my sister to choose to do what she did. More and more I found myself just openly speaking about what had happened. I found myself explaining what she had been going through in the months leading up to her final day. And it felt good. You might be wondering, “How in the hell can it feel good to talk about death? How in the hell is *this* inspirational?”

You see… every day, my little sister is my inspiration. I wake up every day and realize that even though she is gone, I am not. I am alive and I am alive for a reason. Losing my sister could have left me empty. It could have left me without hope. But the funny thing is… I don’t feel empty. I didn’t lose my hope. Or my faith. Or my belief that no matter how bad today might be, there is ALWAYS the chance that tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life. My sister, Nicole, inspires me in ways that I can’t even begin to put into words. I carry her with me everywhere I go and she inspires me to be the best person I can possibly be. And given the opportunity, I will talk until I’m blue in the face about her, and what she went through and how I got to where I am today! If I talk about her, if I talk about the options she had, the obstacles she faced and the decision she made… it might inspire someone else to think twice about how little they feel their life means.

My little sister is and always will be my number one inspiration in life. Even if no one else can understand how… I will always say her. Just because she lost a horrific battle doesn’t make her any less of a hero to me, or any less inspirational. Her actions and her story could change a million lives. Or even if it just changes one… then, her loss will not have been in vain. But I have no doubt that her story will change lives and inspire others.

After all… she changed mine!

– Love to you, ducklings!
Jenn

Jen is 33 going on 19. She describes herself as a loner, but makes friends very easily! She spends most of her time talking to her friends on Twitter, goes to work and whenever she has free time, she writes.

A woman who inspires Simone

This next post on our fantastic blog series for Women’s History Month is quite inspiring and up in the air. Are there any women pilots in the world today? Militaries? Yes. But not so many for commercial flights. We go back in time to remember the life of a woman who defied all odds. 

 

Amelia Earhart: the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean

When we were given the opportunity to write about women who inspire us, my first thought was “of course, her”… but my second one was “oh crap, who has inspired me? Like really inspired me?” For about three days, I was in a state of panic. I really wanted to write this post, but I couldn’t think of anyone to write about.

At one point I even thought about backing out of the assignment, but then I started remembering women we had talked about in school and all of a sudden I realized how many inspiring women I actually know of.

One incredible woman in particular has taught me that to be great then you have to believe in your dreams, and that is Amelia Earhart. Amelia Mary Earhart was born on July 24, 1897 in Atchison, Kansas. She was a tomboy, who loved to climb trees and was often looked at with disapproval and doubt for her non-girly behavior.

I first heard of Amelia Earhart when I was in the 3rd grade. Our history teacher was telling us the names of all these male aviators, but at the end he said: “But none of them was as great as Amelia Earhart.” I remember that I hadn’t really been paying attention, because I was not in the least bit interested in airplanes or who flew them, but when I heard her name was like: “Hey! That’s a girl’s name!”

So 9 year-old me listened with great interest to the rest of the class, I even drew a picture of Amelia in a plane that my teacher asked if he could keep. I wonder where it is now…

When Amelia was 10 years old, she saw her first plane at a state fair, but it wasn’t until almost a decade later, when Amelia attended a stunt-flying exhibition, that she became seriously interested in aviation. On December 28, 1920, pilot Frank Hawks took her on a 10-minute plane ride that changed her life forever.

To be able to take flying lessons, Amelia earned $1,000 by working many different jobs and finally after 10 hours of instruction, Amelia was ready to fly alone. In six months she managed to save enough money to buy her first plane. The second-hand Kinner Airster was a two-seater biplane painted bright yellow. Amelia named the plane “Canary,” and used it to set her first women’s record by rising 14,000 feet of the ground.

From June 17th to 18th, 1928, Amelia was a passenger on a plane called Friendship that flew from America to England, which made her become the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. Their landmark flight made headlines worldwide, because three women had died within the year trying to be that first woman. When the crew returned to the United States they were greeted with a ticker-tape parade in New York and a reception held by President Calvin Coolidge at the White House.

After that, Amelia’s life revolved around flying. She placed third at the Cleveland Women’s Air Derby, and was later given the nickname “Powder Puff Derby” by Will Rogers. Reporter George Putnam and Amelia developed a friendship during the preparation for the Atlantic crossing and were later married on February 7th, 1931.

On May 20, 1932, Amelia took off from Harbor Grace, Newfoundland to Paris, but because of strong north winds, icy conditions and mechanical problems she was forced to land in a pasture near Londonderry, Ireland. President Herbert Hoover presented Amelia with a gold medal from the National Geographic Society.

Congress awarded her the Distinguished Flying Cross – the first ever given to a woman. At the ceremony, Vice President Charles Curtis praised her courage, saying she displayed “heroic courage and skill as a navigator at the risk of her life.” Amelia felt the flight proved that men and women were equal in “jobs requiring intelligence, coordination, speed, coolness and willpower.”

A few years after 1932, Amelia became the first person to fly solo across the Pacific from Honolulu to Oakland, California. Then, in 1937, Amelia and navigator Fred Noonan decided to fly around the world. On July 2nd, 1937, the pair took off. They left Miami, Florida, and passed South America, Africa, Thailand, Singapore, Java, and Australia. But when they left New Guinea for Howland Island, they disappeared. The only thing left was a frantic message to the US Coast Guard at 8:45 p.m. on July 2, 1937.

Amelia Earhart, Fred Noonan, and Amelia’s plane were never found.

– Simone

Simone Luna, named after a Danish celebrity’s child and the moon is 23 years old, and lives in a small town in Denmark. She loves art, gymnastics, ballet, books and the color red. She sees the good in everything, at times she can be overly positive and she lives by the words: “There is always room for hope”.

Thursday Inspiration – Women’s History Month

 

Hello Ugly Ducklings!

Today’s inspiration doesn’t require much of an explanation. Check out this video: A speech by Joss Whedon about why he writes strong, powerful women (he’s the guy who brought us Buffy… ‘Nough said?).

Let us know your thoughts below!

A Woman Who Inspires Allanah

We continue with our amazing blog series for Women’s History Month, and today is Allanah’s turn. She was kind enough to send us this text, where she reveals that it’s not really one person in particular who she feels inspired by. 

 

The women who inspire me aren’t necessarily famous or even well off. The women who inspire me are the ones who go through life and are able to face adversity and stand up for what they believe in. That’s not to say that some of these women aren’t famous some are but it’s not because they are famous that they inspire me.

The first of these women is my mother; it seems cliché, but it’s true. I love my mother. She is the one who taught me to stand up for what I believe in and to stand on my own two feet. Both in a literal sense and figuratively. She is one of the reasons I strive to be my best even on days when I feel my worst.

In my English class recently, we were discussing Hamlet and in this discussion, the role of women came up. There are only two female characters in Hamlet and in the times of Shakespeare, women were treated as second class citizens and had to be obedient to men. We started comparing how women were treated then and now.

It came to light that while there are some differences, some things are still the same; there are still misogynistic people in the world, people that believe that being female makes you less of a person. Because of this, strong women in general inspire me, because in a world that could still be called patriarchal, they stand up for themselves and their rights.

The next women who inspire me happen to be famous. Both Lana Parrilla and Jennifer Morrison inspire me. They are strong women and are able to speak out if something unjust is happening. Lana spoke at a human rights campaign gala recently and she was speaking out for what she believed in and what she thinks is right. While I’ve never met either of these woman, to me they seem like the kind of people who you could be yourself with and would accept whatever flaws or differences you may have.

I look up to all these women, not only for what they believe but what they do to stand up for what they believe in. If you are a woman making your way and trying your hardest, even if you are having some troubles, I look up to you. Even if I don’t know you. Because you are trying and you are alive and doing what you can. These are the thing I look for in inspiration.

You have something inspiring about you. You do. Even if you don’t know it.

A proud ugly duckling,
Allanah

Allanah is 16 years old and lives in Australia. She is currently in her final year of school and enjoys writing and maths. We want to thank her deeply for sending this piece! 

A Woman Who Inspires Mariah

Today’s guest blogger is our wonderful assistant, Mariah. You may have chatted with her on twitter recently, or checked out the amazing resources page she made for our website. Mariah wrote about a woman who inspires her below:

As you all know, March is Women’s History Month. All month long, I have been thinking about a woman who inspires me. Now I am a huge fan of Jennifer Morrison and Ginnifer Goodwin, but one of my biggest heroes, who I have been a fan of since middle school, is Jorja Fox.

Courtesy of jorjafox.net

Jorja stars in my favorite television shows, CSI, as Sara Sidle. If it wasn’t for Jorja, I honestly have no idea how I would have made through school: School was one of the worst times of my life. I was bullied quite a lot, and had very few friends. I hated having to go every day. The only thing that made it better was getting to go home and watch an interview of her or an episode of CSI. I always thought she was funny, and I loved getting to hear her talk about whatever animal she was helping. It made me feel better and whenever I felt down at school, I would think back to the interview that I watched and it would make me smile. I even pretended to be sick one time, so I could stay home from school and watch her on The View… Best “sick” day ever! Jorja inspires me in a lot of ways. Like me, Jorja loves animals; she works with the Animal Defenders International and the Humane Society of the United States for animal rights.

Courtesy of http://www.swedenwithlove.com

In a recent interview that she did on The Talk, she stated that she was chubby and tall as a kid. It made me think that if she can become an amazing actor and advocate, then even someone as awkward as me can do it too. But my biggest reason that she inspires me is that she doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her: in a recent photo shoot she did, back in November for Sweden with Love she talks about how she’s finally reached a part in her life where it doesn’t matter to her what people think of her. This helps me to realize that it shouldn’t matter what people think of me either, if I love myself, that’s the only approval I need. I hope one day I can have the pleasure of meeting Jorja and thanking her for helping during one of the toughest times of my life. I believe Jorja is a really great role model and someone that we can all look up to. You can follow her on twitter @JorjaFoxofficia

Thank you so much for sharing this piece of inspiration with us, Mariah! I hope everyone is able to check out Jorja’s website and efforts, and let Mariah know below what you think!

A Woman Who Inspires Shari

 

We’ve themed this blog series “Women Who Inspire”. In honour of Women’s History Month, we asked you Ugly Ducklings which women inspire you and why. We have some really great, inspiring responses to share with you. Today’s post is by Shari and we are so happy she wrote into us. Check out her story below:

My grandmother survived the second World War which is a big deal to me. She lost her husband years ago and she still talks about him like he’s just at work. I know she misses him but she’s a good actor. I never get to know him but my grandmother really admires him so he must have been a great man. I think if you’d ask me about real love, that would be my example.

My grandmother moved to Spain 18 years ago. She lived there with her husband and her dogs. She is an independent woman and so brave! She didn’t even knew the language but she learned it! She made her dream come true to live there while others are mostly there on vacation. After one of her dogs died and she became more and more weak, she decided to move back to us.

My grandmother has two children: my dad and my uncle. She managed it to go to work as one of the first women in our village and educate her children. She always tells me that she always was jealous because the other kids had new things and she didn’t because her parents bought the house I’m still living in. But she accepted it.

When you meet my grandmother, you first thought is what a wise woman she is. Whatever problem I have, I can ask her about it and she’ll know the answer. And I’m not the only one thinking that: two of my cousins lost contact with their mum so they have no one to ask those questions. On weekends, they usually come over and my grandmother cooks for all of us and talks about her past and about our future.

And the best thing my grandmother is that she and I share the passion for old things and keeping things that may be important someday. We keep nearly everything that seems useful for the future.

Two days ago, I told her that I just finished reading a book. Right after I told her, she led me to her old cupboard. She opened the doors and I saw so many books! An hour later I went back home with four more books to read: a book about the universe, about heaven, about the Shaolin monks and about the world war.

You may be thinking she’s a Grandma like every other Grandma but I don’t think so. She’s the one who always makes you laugh but also the one to caution you when you do something wrong. She’s the one who has an open ear and a shoulder to lean on. She’s the one who always knows the answer and has a realistic opinion about everything.
She’s my grandmother and my inspiration.

Shari is 14 years old and lives in a cute little village in Germany where she is still attending school. She says, “If I had to choose if I’m an Ugly Duckling or a Swan I wouldn’t know what to choose yet. I think I’m somewhere between …” She has faith in happy endings and knows that if everything is still bad, it can’t be the end yet.

We want to thank Shari for sharing her story with us about the woman who inspires her the most. Be sure to leave comments for Shari below and check back tomorrow for our next “Women Who Inspire” blog!

International Day of Happiness

Hello Dear Ugly Ducklings!

Today is International Day of Happiness and we wanted to share this awesome website with you!

Check it out and check back this weekend for more #Inspiration!  Click on the photo below to check out the site!

Support Mosaics, an independent short film

Hi Ducklings!

Have you ever heard of the word animal-human hybrids?

Actually, I hadn’t heard of it until quite recently, when a team of two rockstars introduced me to it. I’m talking about Florian and Joshua, and to be more precise they are a film director and a producer, contributing with their ideas and creations to gender equality and acceptance.

They embarked upon an amazing project last year, and the best part? they used the innovative crowdfunding strategy to get the resources to make the short film Whispers of Life a reality. They got funds from celebrities, fans, crew members, and friends after they released the synopsis of their movie:

Whispers of Life is a short film about the interdependence of imagination and survival and their life-changing connection in Tom’s story. Tom, a fifteen-year old gay teenager, meets Charles, a man in his sixties, after having been bullied by classmates on a park bench. Charles, having witnessed the bullying, approaches Tom afterward and initiates a conversation. When Tom frankly asks Charles if he has ever thought about suicide, Charles takes Tom on a fantastical journey into Tom’s imagination that will forever change the course of Tom’s future and ability to appreciate his life.

2013 became like a magical ship to this film, because every month blew winds to it and sent it to festivals around the world: it was selected to make part of Film Festivals in Italy, Switzerland, Poland, Canada, the United States, and Australia.

But that’s not all! The film got praises, great reviews and awards!

Mosaics

Now, they have decided to push themselves harder and take their next big idea to the screen. And here’s where the animal-human hybrids come in.

Florian and Joshua have launched a new funding campaign for an enticing sci-fi short film set in the near future and featuring interactions between human and animal-human hybrids that make their way in this world amidst constant oppression, and marginalization.

Sounds fascinating, and us, ugly ducklings want to make part of the campaign by

• Spreading the word
• Donating

Their story of success is truly inspiring, and they are living proof that when you have a great idea that you want to show the world, and you set your mind to it, you can make it something worthwhile and valuable.

SO!! for those of you who want to send a donation to Mosaics, don’t hesitate for one second. Click here to go straight to the Indiegogo campaign.

And you can hear more about it:

Donate here!.