Hello everyone! Mariah here, its been a while since my last post on introversion, and since then I have learned a lot, and felt like it was time to write another.
Its hard to believe, but last month marked one year since I discovered my introversion, and what a year its been.
This past year I have read 3 books on introversion.
- Quiet by @SusanCain
- Introvert Power by @LaurieHelgoe
- The Introverts Way by @SophiaDembling
All three of these books are so empowering, and have changed my life forever. One thing I noticed that all the books mention, is that all these authors, just like me, felt that something was wrong with them.
It’s so nice knowing that I’m not the only one who felt like this. But it’s also brought up a sad point. Because extroversion is our society’s spotlight personality, it seems that most introverts grow up thinking that something is wrong with them.
And this shouldn’t be. No one should have to feel that the way they are is wrong.
These three authors were the first voices to tell me that nothing was wrong with me, and that I do not need to be fixed.
And because of them, I’ve learned and I’m still learning so much about myself. They’ve also inspired me to want to help other introverted and quiet people.
Things I’ve Learned
Here are some things that I’ve learned, that I’m sure many introverts will agree need to be addressed.
The Difference between Shyness and Introversion.
People always seem to think that being shy and introverted is the same thing, but they’re not. They are two completely different things.
Shyness is when people are uncomfortable or timid in social situations. It’s more of a phobia, a fear of talking to people. And like any phobia, shyness can also be overcome. Given the right treatment, a person can learn to work though it, or sometimes even outgrow it.
Introversion on the other hand, is a personality. It’s how a person was born, and how they live and see the world. Introverted people are also fully capable of talking; we just don’t feel like it sometimes.
We have the motivation to socialize just like extroverts. We’re not afraid to talk; we just can’t handle it as long.
Shyness can occur in both introverted and extroverted people.
I myself am a shy introvert. I also have horrible social anxiety. Talking with people is very hard for me sometimes.
Being Alone, and Being Lonely
As part of being an introvert, we do need some alone time to recharge. People always seem to confuse being alone with being lonely. Again these are two different things.
Being alone means, being by yourself with no one else around, being separated from others. It’s an external condition, and for an introvert, it does not mean being lonely.
Introverts are very rarely bored on their own; we have our internal life to keep us company. We can spend hours and days alone with nothing more than a good book.
It’s being surrounded by people and large groups that bore us, we can’t think.
Loneliness is an internal state. It’s the need to want to be around people and socialize, or connect, it’s how you feel being alone.
Sometimes introverts can feel lonely even when they are surrounded by people. We don’t have anyone we can mentally connect with.
Quiet People Know They’re Quiet
I’m sure most of you introverts have been asked this many times throughout your life. You’re sitting there minding your own business and someone feels the need to come up to you and say that annoying question, “do you know that you’re quiet?” or my favorite, “why are you so quiet?”
I can never understand why people feel the need to do this. I’m not bothering anyone; I’m minding my own business. I never ask someone why they’re being so loud and obnoxious, so why do they feel the need to pester me?
Fun fact, quiet people are very well aware that they’re quiet, and they don’t need you pointing it out, it’s very irritating.
Meyers Briggs Personality Types
As I began researching introversion more, I came across what is known as the Meyers Briggs Personality Types, or the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
Based on the ideas and research of Carl Jung, two women -Isabel Meyers and Katharine Briggs- developed a psychometric questionnaire that determines a person’s personality type.
Based on the four main functions of consciousness, 2 perceiving- SENSATION & INTUITION, and 2 judging- THINKING & FEELING. They are modified by the two main attitudes Extroversion & Introversion, to form the psychological/personality types. There are 16 of them.
My personality type is the INFJ, it’s the rarest one because it only makes up 1-3% of the population.
If you want to learn what your personality is, or would like to learn more about MBTI, here are some links you can check out.
http://www.16personalities.com/
Quiet Revolution
Co-founded by author Susan Cain, Quiet Revolution is a website that is still in development that is being made to help empower introverts, and in a quiet way, change the world.
They are working on a revolution that will change things, so that introverts no longer have to struggle or mask themselves in the world. Such as making school classrooms more introvert friendly.
You can learn more by following them on Twitter and Facebook. Or visit their website.
Here you can sign up and join the quiet revolution, you can help them show what quiet can do. http://www.quietrev.com/
That’s it for now, I hope this helps add more insight about introversion. It’s a cool thing, and no one should ever be made to feel wrong about it, I like to consider it my super power.
As Hiccup said from the movie How to Train Your Dragon 2, “We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pin against us. We are the voice of peace, and bit by bit we will change this world.“
-Mariah
The Ugly Ducklings 