An Adoption Story Full of Pranks

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.
— Albert Einstein

The best way to describe my 8th grade science teacher, Mrs. Loudermilt, would be to say that Ms. Frizzle had come to life. I’m still not entirely convinced that author JoAnna Cole did not indeed base her character off of one Mrs. Loudermilt, whom wore white lab coats so she could carry both a snake and a piece of candy in her pocket. Her walls were covered in posters and quotes of Albert Einstein and the counters were filled to capacity with chemistry beakers, bunsen burners, metal pans, snake aquariums, student microscopes, and in the corner I swear there was a miniature version of the hubble telescope. Just looking at her classroom made you believe that the cure for any disease could be created in there.

Mrs. Loudermilt was serious about teaching Science. She had taken Science and turned it into almost a way of life for us during the 90 minute block we had with her. Science was not simply reading from the textbook; it was about making ice cream to teach about temperatures, to showcase the demonstrative properties of water being a solid/liquid/gas. But we did more than just make ice cream; the biggest lesson of the day was that learning could actually be fun.

There was a tactility to her teachings, and with it also came the best sense of humor. We all thought she was a bit crazy, a true mad scientist if you will, but there was nothing mad about her.

No, there was a kindness behind that sneaky grin and she was constantly pulling pranks. It was not unusual for Mrs. Loudermilt to throw candy in classrooms as she walked down the hall just so she could disrupt the the other educator’s teachings. After one such instance our English teacher vowed that she would retaliate. Now, I may or may not have suggested to our English teacher that we concoct a plan to have all of us walk out of Mrs. Loudermilt’s class while she was in the middle of teaching. So the next day when the clock hit a certain time, we all just stood up and walked out of her class leaving her speechless, but laughing all the same.

But Mrs. Loudermilt was never one to be bested so in response she had the English teacher’s classroom furniture removed while she was at lunch. Once again, I may or may not have suggested the idea to Mrs. Loudermilt. And because I may or may not have participated in such removal of furniture, it did not mean that I didn’t completely adore my English teacher; however, now I was in the middle of these two pranks so it was only natural that the very next morning both my English teacher and my Science teacher had called me into the school’s office.

A family secret: I suffered a mental health problem

I diagnosed myself when I was fifteen;
seven years later, a psychiatrist did it.

In February 2012, I was confronted with a family secret: My grandfather had been a patient in a psychiatric hospital for six months when my Dad was a teenager due to a mental breakdown and psychosis. While my grandfather was there, he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Whether that was type I or type II, I don’t know. I don’t think anyone does.

I confronted my Dad about why I was never told of this, especially because of my continuous depressions through my life. He tried to play it off, like it was no big deal. (I’m not looking to make my Dad seem like a bad guy because he certainly is not; he just doesn’t seem to be proud of his – my – family’s history – except for the good things of course.)

Well, that night I made a decision to go to my doctor and demand to get a referral for a psych evaluation. I’d been going to him at least once a year since I was 15, telling him that I needed help and he’d just kept sending me to psychologists who failed to recognize any signs. But this time, I wasn’t going to listen to him; this time he was going to listen to me!

Three weeks later, I went and told my doctor to give me that referral… He finally did. After seven years, I was finally going to get the help that I knew I needed. Since my first serious depression, I’d known that it wasn’t “just” a depression. I knew it was more than that, but no one would listen to a “hormonal” 15 year old.

Six months later I went to the psychiatrist and filled out a questionnaire that would determine if I had an actual mental illness and if so, which one. After I’d filled it out, I went in for the consult and I told him why I’d sought for psychiatric help as opposed to psychological and we made an appointment for another consult a month later.

August ended and September 21st came; I finally got there and sat down in the waiting room. Of course, the doctor was late. Typical, isn’t it? When you’re about to be late and you rush to get there, whoever you’re meeting is late. It didn’t take long for him to pull me in and give me my diagnosis. “Hi Camilla. So… There’s no doubt about it. You have Bipolar Disorder type II.”

No doubt. No doubt? After seven years, at least seven depression consults with my doctor, three psychologists and countless counsellors, it took one test and one conversation with a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. A diagnosis that I had known I would receive. For seven years I had dealt with the downside of this illness and no one had been there to really help me.

Less two months after I got my diagnosis, I went through another downward spiral, with the snap of two fingers. All I remember is waking up one morning and not being able to get up. I, physically, couldn’t. I lied there, listening to my alarm going off until my Mom came in half an hour later and asked me why I wasn’t up yet. I just looked into the air and said, “It’s gone bad again.” And so, another battle started, but this time we knew why and how to help it.

I ended up dropping out of school –third try on getting an education– to concentrate on getting better and staying better. With a diagnosis it wasn’t hard to have the system work with me instead of against me. They set me up in a mindfulness-ish class that had a couple of painting hours a week, which were the only reason I went. I wasted seven months there until I could get into a program for people who aren’t fit for work or school.

During those months, I did my best to experience as many things that would give me joy as possible. I went to Paris to meet one of my two best friends for the first time. Two months later I went to the Monte Carlo TV Festival with my other best friend – my best friend for longer than forever, as her and I say. And that same Summer I was lucky enough to not get renewed at that mindfulness-ish class, so that I could have a month vacation before starting the program. This break gave me two weeks in Skagen; this annual trip was exactly what I needed! A week of having fun with a friend and the next with my Dad and sister – later joined by my sister’s mother – where I spent most days relaxing in the sun. Perfect.

And finally August came and the program started.

This program has three subjects: music, art and theatre. And since August 2013, I have been an amateur actress. This place is safe. If you’re energized and overjoyed, you use that energy to do theatre work. If you’re tired or sad – or both – there’s a place upstairs with a couch, where you can lie down if you need to. It’s a place where you have support your co-workers, the guidance counsellors and the ones who are in charge of each subject. There’s room for you there.

Trolls lurk on Bullying Prevention Month

The word can mean so many different things to people today. Troll.

In fact, when I asked Ugly Ducklings about what a troll meant to them, these were their answers:

• “A fairytale creature on fantasy shows and movies”
• “A doll with fantastically fluorescent hair”
• “An incredibly disrespectful person that enjoys hurting others with words”

I never thought that after asking the question, three completely different meanings were going to show up.

Also, I certainly wish with all my guts that I were going to talk about the awesome mythical creature that has made it into epic films like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter or even the Neverending Story, and Labyrinth.

Even better, I wish the company that made the funny troll toys (I remember I had one with fuchsia hair!) were paying me to write wonders about these little funny, hairy little dolls so their sales would drastically go up.

Unfortunately, no.

The horror of bullying

It’s October, and it’s time to sadly remind ourselves that there is a Bullying Prevention Month, which not only refers to the normal bullies kids find at school, but it includes the myriad of people that use the internet and the social networks to harass, attack, intimidate, offend, and mock other web users.

Those are the new trolls. Trolls 2.0, who came out of their caves, with their spiky clubs, and exchanged them for a computer screen and hateful words.

But then, one day, one man stood up, and used even more powerful words.

His name is Shane Koyczan. He said in an interview that the genre that can best depict what bullying is and feels like is horror. He knows it. He had to endure every second of the suffering. The unmeasurable agony that no one sees.

On how to conquer bullies and trolls

If you suffered from bullying at some point in your life you will probably agree with this:

If you are still struggling, both online and offline, simply remember that:

• You are not the only one, and you are not alone.
• There will always be someone willing to help you: family, close friends you can trust, a counselor, a psychologist, a priest, a hotline. 
• Even though it seems endless, there will be a moment when it will all end.
• Karma, fate, destiny, life or whatever you want to call it actually exists, and the bullies will not escape the consequences of their actions.

In Shane Koyczan’s beautiful and heart-rending piece ‘To This Day’, you can both cry and understand what goes inside a child that is suffering from this type of violence.

And then came Troll, his latest work. Amidst the pauses he makes, the moments he breathes before he keeps reading, the beautiful music, and the breathtaking graphics, you will understand how words can become the secret formula to vanquish these creeping web creatures. 

Leave your comments and tell us which was the part of the poem that struck you the most.

Putting an end to one of the myths of autism

One thing that everyone needs to remember is that every child is their own person and a diagnosis doesn’t make them the same.

When I was 20 years old I graduated from what would be High School in the US (I’m from Denmark), and I decided to take a year off to work before starting university. But getting a job wasn’t that easy. After 4 months of nothing, a friend of mine told me that she was quitting her job as a substitute teacher, which meant that they would probably need a new one.

I contacted the school, got an interview and a week later I was a substitute teacher. Many people think that being a substitute is easy; you just have to fill in for the teacher and do something with the children. But it’s not! Getting the respect of kids only 5-10 years younger than you isn’t easy. And we all know how horrible children can be to each other.

Three weeks later the principal came to the class I was teaching, and asked to speak with me.

I got completely terrified, convinced someone had complained about me or that I just wasn’t good enough for the job, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, she asked me if I wanted to work at the A-house as a substitute teacher’s assistant.

The A-house is just a normal small house beside the school that used to be the Principal’s house back in the 60’s, but now the rooms had been turned into classrooms for kids, but not for the kids at the big school. The A-house is like a small school for children with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome. Saying yes to this job would mean getting half the pay and more work, but I said yes right away!

My knowledge of Autism was very small, though I knew some of the basics like their need for routines and being prepared, and issues with social interactions, loud noises, smells and lights. But after getting the job I started reading much more about it. I now know that Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is known as a complex developmental disability.

What experts say about autism

Experts believe that Autism presents itself during the first three years of a person’s life. The condition is the result of a neurological disorder that has an effect on normal brain function, affecting development of the person’s communication and social interaction skills. People with autism have issues with non-verbal communication, a wide range of social interactions, and activities that include an element of play and/or banter.

Allison’s Ugly Duckling Story

Allison is one of the members of the #Original10. She opened her heart to us and all the community to show us that she is working hard and not giving up.

When I was in fourth grade I failed a state test. By failed I mean the school called my parents to offer me special learning services.

It was bad.

I was put in the LRC (Learning Resource Center). I did not understand why I was there. I mean, it was one test and why was that one test so important that I needed to have special services? The other kids that were in the LRC were there because they had learning disabilities. But I didn’t, right?

I forced my parents to take me out of the LRC because I felt I was there for no reason. That year I started really struggling with school. I knew something was wrong, and tried to convince my parents that I had a learning disability because to me, that was the only explanation. Of course they did not believe me because I was nine. But I couldn’t do a lot of things that most nine year olds could do which I knew wasn’t right.

By sixth grade I was very frustrated. I was really struggling with school. I was still trying to convince my parents that I had a learning disability but they told me to just stay after more with my teachers and I would get it. But I didn’t get it. I felt stupid. I felt like an idiot. I couldn’t tell time, I couldn’t graph, I couldn’t do geometry, and I didn’t know the difference between nickels, dimes, and quarters.

I knew something was wrong. In eighth grade I was struggling a lot with math and science. I came home one day to my mom in a panic because I had stayed after trying to go over a graph with my teacher and no matter how many times he showed me what to do, I couldn’t do it. I knew that this was more than just not understanding how to graph. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand it, it was that I couldn’t do it. She told me she had already been looking into having me tested for learning disabilities.

So I got tested. The testing took two days and was the most mentally draining experience I have ever had. The details of those tests aren’t really important, but it was four hours of tests, and it was clear something was wrong, because, before the end of the testing, the doctor called my mom in to tell her that something was definitely wrong. I did have a learning disability, and an eye problem. What I have is called a non-verbal learning disability.

That is pretty much a catchall phrase for so many things, but for me it means I do not understand visual information. When I learn verbally I’m in the 99th percentile, but when I learn visually, I’m in the 4th percentile. That’s why I wasn’t able to do all of those things I listed before, like telling time, graphing etc. I also have some eye problems. Not sight problems. I have 20/20 vision.

But, the muscles in my eyes do not work correctly. I can’t exactly explain the problems well because I don’t completely understand them, haha, but I have a convergence disorder, a divergence disorder, accommodation problems, and tracking issues. Pretty much my eye muscles don’t work right in so many ways. I have to go to vision therapy to correct these problems. It’s hard. School can be hard, especially math and science. But I’m doing okay. I’m getting through it. I need to re-learn what I have already learned. I need to learn how to learn basically.

I will have to deal with this my whole life, but it’s okay. It makes me stronger.

Jennifer Morrison once said, “be brave enough to be yourself” and that is what I intend to do.

– Allison

Message for The Ugly Ducklings by Jennifer Morrison

A child left behind… adoptive parents… changing your life…

One of the reasons why so many people have felt connected to Once Upon a Time is because of how they can see themselves in many of the characters’ situations.

While some feel like they want to explore the world and have adventures (like Belle, played by Emilie de Ravin), many relate to Regina’s struggles (The Evil Queen, played by Lana Parrilla), and her determination to wanting to solve her problems, heal her wounds, and finally find her happy ending.

And many other people have found in Henry (played by Jared Gilmore), and his will to find his biological parents, a validation that they are not alone when it comes to knowing where they come from.

Jennifer Morrison’s character, Emma Swan, is also in one of these paths. In a matter of months she finds out that the son she gave away came back to find her, and her whole life changes completely.

If you have visited Ugly Ducklings Inc before, you will know already that this movement was born from descriptions she has made to explain where Emma’s essence comes from. At an interview on July 20th, Zach Van Norman, staff member of Once Upon a Fan, a very popular website dedicated to the TV series, got the chance to ask her a few questions, which, once again, imprint a very strong message on all of us, Ugly Ducklings.

You are not alone

One of the first questions that Zach asked had to do with how she managed to build the character. And this was her answer:

You heard right: she didn’t have a perfect social life in school! And if you check out the whole interview here, you’ll find out the constant rejection she faces in the entertainment business. She’s famous, and talented, but does that mean things are easy for her?

What if you could also have an impact on other people, even if it’s with little things? Jennifer probably never thought that her words about being a Swan, and feeling different from the rest of the world would resonate so much on so many of us. Here’s where she mentions how fulfilling it is to know that we are all coming together, and doing great things for one another:

And finally, the perfect chicken soup we all need, the perfect encouragement to keep working hard to make ourselves happy.

What do you say we add this piece of advice to all the ducklinspiration messages, and uplifting quotes we have read over the course of our lives?

What if all we need is an extra dash of bravery?

PD: As I write this, fans of Once Upon A Time are uniting forces to help Mental Fitness Inc. (formerly NORMAL In Schools) build their first Mental Fitness institute. YOU CAN DONATE $5 for a chance to win an autographed photo as well as other great goodies. Click here to know more about #OperationNORMAL.

– Marie,

The Tail Shaker.