I feel empty and alone

I feel empty and alone

Hello ducklings!

I have a problem that has been bothering me for quite a while.

I turned to a member of the Ugly Ducklings team and I got the idea of ​​publishing my problem here, since you are all amazing and you can probably help me.

A while ago I realized that I felt “empty” and alone, and I was filling my life with activities and hobbies that I did not necessarily want to do. But anyway I gave them a try. However, I realized it wasn’t really something I liked and I quit.

Since then I’ve been trying to find myself again.

 

But it is very difficult because that’s something I must do alone I think. So I started to engage in new activities that I like, in order to find where I want to go in life.

It went well, but when I’m home alone or at work where there is no people who are talking to me constantly I start feeling very apprehensive and nervous.

I’m worried, because I can’t focus and I keep thinking that time passes very slowly, and that makes me feel like I want to run away. When I’m alone in my house it’s not as drastic as when I’m at work, but still, I have days when I think about whether I’m doing things right or not.

Anxiety comes to me like a storm, so I end up eating a lot of sweets. The last time I did that was two days ago. I’m triying to stay calm and think positively and I would really love it if you guys could help me with any kind of advice or encouraging words.

Thanks in advance!

– Ariel*

Ariel is a fellow ugly duckling who has been part of the community for around a year. She is 19 years old, and she wrote an Ugly Duckling Story that we posted a few months ago.

If you have any words of advice please add them as a comment below. Thank you. We will make sure she reads them.

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9 thoughts on “I feel empty and alone

  1. Pingback: Rest in Peace Robin Williams | The Ugly Ducklings

  2. Hello again! I never imagined I would have such a quick response so I’m very happy and motivated :)

    Rebecca, I Know should not panic about these things but sometimes the pressure is so much that I need to do something about it, but I totally understand your point!

    Emily you took the words off my mouth!! with the activities I was doing I only achieved distraction because I didn’t know what to do; I’ll have in mind what you said .. in fact, tomorrow is Sunday = a lot of free time, so I’ll see how it goes, thank you very much!

    Mariah, thaks for your support! I know I can allways count on you all :) Iz faith and hope are the last thing That perish in me so It will not be a problem, I am delighted that my story helped somehow!

    Maaike: it is very hard for me to stop eating sweets when I’m stressed, but I am sure that somehow I can change that habit with something else, I have some hobbies I’ve been doing a few weeks ago, with some of them sometimes I feel retracted because the atmosphere at home is not always the best but I have to carry on and be strong :) (something I learned from here)

    Aristea: thank you very much for your beautiful words! I’ll try to find professional help here where I live! and you’re right about that one finds people who help you fight these battles, like you I am very grateful.

    Shannon: As my work has a lot to do with what I am currently studying today I did something that will make my job more fun to do so it will make me more happy : D thanks for your advice, I’m aware that I’m very lucky to have free time despite the all my activities during the week! thank you very much!

    Thank you very much to all for commenting, it means a lot to me to have all this support! it’s amazing!
    sending immense hugs and kisses… size of the moon!

    Ariel.

  3. Hi Ariel!
    After reading your post it took me some time to find the words to say. Like the others have stated, most have at one time or are currently experiencing that same feeling of emptiness. Please don’t fill that void with food or people that are not healthy for you life. I made that mistake early on and am still dealing with the weight portion. It sounds like you feel this way at work because maybe the job is not fufilling. Unfortunately we all have had those jobs but since you are young you can take this time to maybe find something you are passionate about. As far as when you are at home, take that time to meditate on who you want to be not what you are not. As a wife and mother that alone time is few and far between so please look at it as a gift and not something to be anxious about. I know all these are are words and much easier said then find however please know you are never alone!
    And if those feeling become too overwhelming please reach out to a professional for help, you are loved more then you know and we all want you to live out your full potential!!! ❤️

  4. Dear Ariel
    Think yourself as a ruler, a queen of yourself. Your body and mind is your kingdom and as every kingdom it has its problems. Before you begin the war with the other kingdoms focus on the inside of yours. The first and the most powerful enemy is your own brain. Think of it as a traitor because right now that’s what it is. It dictates every thought and every action of yours. You have made a big step by seeking for help and accepting the fact that there is something wrong. That’s the first battle you won against your mind. Face you fears? that’s a hell of a battle and it will take time and as always it won’t be easy. Your mind will always try to find a way to bring you back to the previous state, that of anxiety and fear. At that exact moment don’t give up, fight it. Stop the thoughts and take a step forward, no matter how frightening that is. But as every kingdom you have enemies but you’ll need allies too. Seek for some professional help. I did and I still do. It’s been only few months but I’m still fighting.
    You’ll be surprised with how strong you are. And as for loneliness I have a master degree on that. In time you’ll find people who really matter to you, who will make you fell good and will give you courage to move on. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that you meet people like that when you truly need them. I wish for you the best and find good and strong allies. I’ve found the best through the uglyducklings and I thank her, god, universe for coming into my life. Good luck dear :)

  5. Dear Ariel,

    I honestly think we all go through this once in a while, but I do realize that some of us suffer of it more than others. Very brave of you to share this story with us.

    I’m not sure if I’m the right person to give advice on this, but what I’m getting from your story is that you try to process these sudden feelings of anxiety by eating sweets? Would you be able to find another (more healthy) way of dealing with it? Are there any other ways to distract yourself? Do you have hobbies you like to do and that you can do at home? Are there people you can call to talk to when you feel that way? Maybe you can try certain breathing exercises or other relaxation exercises? Try to find something that helps you. Not everything works for everyone. It is all very personal, but I’m sure there is something out there that works for you.

    There are also courses that may be of help to you. The thing is, you’re not alone in this. The website has a few useful resources that may be of help too (http://uglyducklingsinc.com/communities/resources/). Please let us know if there’s anything else we can do for you.

    Take care, love,

    Maaike

  6. Dear Ariel,
    First please don’t feel as though you are alone because you, in sharing your story here, have made me feel as though I am not the only one who feels this way – so thank you. Like you I am also quite an anxious person and recently I have had to do a lot of things on my own because I have been pursuing something that I enjoy rather than what my friends enjoyed around me. The best piece of advice I can give you is to have faith, have faith in yourself and soon if you believe that you can pursue who you want to be that’s when you will develop confidence and be able to start taking steps yourself to making your life how you would like it to be. I know that this is easier said than done, after all I am on the same journey right now.
    I wish you all the best hun :)

  7. Ariel,
    I’m going through this exact same thing right now. I know how much it hurts to feel empty and alone, and how it feels to want to find yourself. I also have really bad anxiety over numerous things, that make it very difficult to face challenges and move forward. But I believe that in order for both of us to find ourselves, we have to face these anxieties. Please know that you are never alone, if you ever wanna talk please let me know. I hope this helps.
    Sending lots of love.
    Mariah

  8. Ariel,
    I went through a season when I felt the same; where instead of getting to the route of my problems I made myself busy. Truth was, it was a form of distraction. There were feelings of being alone and lost. However, the real problem was that parts of my heart became very busted due to time and events that changed me. We are all born as one whole person, but over time the majority become lonely usually due to rejection. Keep in mind I don’t know your whole life’s story and other things that are occurring in your life, but the solution I found is being alone. Learning how to spend time with yourself with nothing to do, where you cannot fall into distractions. It really forces you to deal with the ugly parts and get to the route of the issue. Only with facing the fear of what lies in your heart will make you whole again. Don’t get me wrong, there will still be times those feelings will creep up, but you will then have a solid rock to stand on. I don’t know if this helped any, but I hope it maybe has.
    Lots of love,
    Emily

  9. Hi.:) I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. If it helps, I’m 37 and I dint have my life figured out yet either. Don’t beet yourself up about that, especially at 19. As far as anxiety, don’t be afraid to seek help if needed. Prayers and love.:)

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